How to help a friend suffering depression: 3 stages explained | DoDiscover and Develop | Personality Development
Do you find your friend struggling to handle depression? Do you want to help your depressed friend by offering support and getting back to his usual self? Are you searching for information about depression to help your depressed friend? Then, at that point, there are a few strategies for understanding depression, causes of depression, symptoms of depression, how to offer support to help someone with depression, and reduce depression. Know from here how to support your friend with depression.
What is depression?
Depression can be defined as a state of mind that doesn't know how to deal with a tough time. It can be said that depression is a product of ignorance of the person in understanding the situation and unfulfilled expectations. (i.e., Depression = ignorance + unfulfilled expectation).
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| By Mike Cohen, Flickr copyright 2022 |
For example, you thought you would become first in class, but something happened and your score was less and you became third in class. Here, the expectations were not fulfilled. You have many more exams to attend in the future. Your life has not ended. But you are not even thinking about that part. That is ignorance in this case. So, there is unfulfilled expectation and ignorance.
Then you relive the past and worry about your future. All your routines will change. You won't talk to your family members. You will begin new eating habits like either skipping eating or overeating. You feel dejected. No interest in doing any activities.
Thus depression came into your life. Parents are so worried because they don't know how to treat a dejected one. They will take you to some mental hospital. Then your case will be admitted and dejected totally from the happy world for long years.
This is one way of depression that is common in ongoing school or college students.
Consider another story:
Rajiv, Niranjana, and Pratap were friends for five years. They are studying together at the National Institute of Technology. Rajiv is a cheerful person and he loves music. Rajiv's usual talk was filled with music. He used to participate in music competitions during their College fest and win prizes.
One day Pratap and Niranjana got a call from Rajiv's mother. She was crying through the phone call. Rajiv tried to attempt suicide. Pratap and Niranjana could not believe their ears. They have seen their friend Rajiv as normal and with no warning signs of suicidal thoughts. Then how he can do such foolish things.
Pratap and Niranjana were rushed to the hospital and they found their friend dealing with difficult emotions. They asked why he decided to self-harm like this.
"Music was my life. Dad told me to become an engineer and stop seeking a career in music. I felt there is no reason for living without music. So I decided to quit my life."
After listening to Rajiv, Pratap slapped him suddenly. Then, at that point, embraced Rajiv and said- " When you felt no reason for living, have you ever recollected your companions? Save the hit as an update for you."
Depression is not a problem on the off chance that there is an opportunity for working upon the state of mind to be stable in risky circumstances. Minor depression can have treatment from a support group including inspiring friends, peer groups, counselors, the company of positive people, etc. Look for clinical treatment on the off chance that the individual's life is in severe depression.
Causes of depression
The significant reason for depression can be the shaky outlook to manage his/her difficult stretch and obliviousness. The reasons for one's depression can be the loss of a friend, or a family member, a critical situation, loneliness, work pressure, financial problems, or everything mentioned so far. In the example mentioned above, the student was depressed because of the situation; whereas, in the story, the family member was the reason for depression.
If the discouraged individual is a lady, the reasons might incorporate the loss of a spouse and reprimanding support bunches either parents-in-law or partners, etc.
Symptoms in a depressed person
The depressed person shows various symptoms. Sometimes, they can show no familiar symptoms at all. We can't realize what is happening in a depressed person's brain. There can be sudden personality changes in that particular depressed friend. These are some general symptoms to recognize your loved one's depression soon:
- Showing loss of energy and no interest in work, pleasurable activities
- Talking about feeling guilty, empty, helpless, suicidal thoughts,
- Appear to be more tragic or mournful than expected
- Show up more critical than expected or miserable about what's to come
- Talk about feeling regretful, void, or useless more frequently than expected
- Appear to be less keen on hanging out or convey less often times than they ordinarily would get disturbed effectively or appear to be abnormally peevish
- Have less energy than expected, move gradually, or appear to be by and large drowsy
- Have less interest in their appearance than expected or disregard fundamental cleanliness, for example, showering and cleaning their teeth
- Experience difficulty resting or rest significantly more than expected
- Careless about their own needs
- Seem to be absent-minded all the more frequently or experience difficulty focusing or settling on things
- Change in eating habits- less eating or overeating.
- Crying or angry on small matters.
- Rough patch on other resources.
Some of the symptoms like showing mental illness, dispassion to own life, excessive fatigue, suicidal talk, and unexpected behavior of your friend can bring sadness to you. Be certain that you are not freezing about seeing your loved one's depression. You can also become a supporting hand and help your depressed friend to get rid of it within a few weeks.
How to help a friend with depression?
Let's see how to deal with someone with depression and how to help depressed people to regain their mental health.
Preparatory stage before the talk
Before dealing with a friend experiencing depression, or encountering despondency, you really want to set yourself up. This includes:
Study your friend before having a depression talking
You should study about your depressed friend. Understand a depressed person's positive traits. To know the facts related to your friend, you can talk with his parents and other friends. You can recall the past happy moments that you and your friend spent together. Be prepared to remind your depressed friend of his positive traits.
Respect the feelings of the depressed person
Your friend is in depression because something has happened in his/her life that could not have been managed properly by your friend. All the differences in his behavior and everything changed suddenly. Try to train your mind to respect the feelings of a depressed person and his behavior.
Optimistic thought always
Don't even think about why depressed people behave like this and so on. As a true friend, you need to accept your friend in depression as it is. And one day everything went back to normal. You should be very calm and peaceful, then only you can spread that calmness and peacefulness to raise him/ her from low energy. Be optimistic and take care of your mental health also.
Then have a beautiful and optimistic conversation with your friend to support him throughout his bad time.
Talk with your friend
You should meet your friend with an optimistic attitude, recalling his strength, and respecting his feelings while dealing with depression. Do not set boundaries for your optimistic thought. Before giving advice be a good listener first.
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| By Shankar s. Flickr copyright 2022 |
Listening to your friend
Listening is not an easy task and not everyone does it, especially a depressed person. One common behavior of depressed people is that they don't open their hearts to everyone. Though you are ready to provide a huge help to your friend if the friend doesn't feel like talking with you, then how will you support your friend with depression. So, be ready to listen carefully.
Talk only about his strength
Maintain the same way of talking that you had before with your friend. Pay utmost attention to your words. Because your positive words can make changes in his/her present life. Even your sweet words can become a good treatment for your friend who is struggling to deal with depression.
Sweet words are like nectar
How can you make your sweet words, even more, sweeter as nectar for the depressed person? Tell things that he likes to listen to.
The best example of this nectar transformation of words can be seen in the Indian classic epic text- The Ramayana. When the monkey namely Hanuman met Sita who is Rama's wife for the first time in Lanka, she was so depressed by the torture from Ravan and his unpleasant words about her beloved husband. She decided to commit suicide. That time, Hanuman sang the glories of Rama which were like the nectar for Sita's wounds ears due to the harsh words of Ravan.
Here, the study that you have done before in the preparatory stage will help you.
How to talk with my friend when the person hides his problem
If your beloved does not open up his thoughts to you, do not panic. The reason can be that a person doesn't know how to transform his feelings into words. Tell that person that being a true friend, you understand that your friend is going through an emotional crisis. Because of some reason, you are not telling me. When you feel free and want to talk to me, you are always welcome to have a conversation with me. I am waiting to listen to the sweet words you would have spoken to me before.
Encourage your friend to write his feelings
If your friend does not want to tell you the reason for his depression, encourage him to maintain a personal journal. You can even present that journal to your friend. While doing this, tell your friend that throwing out those feelings can increase the level of his mental health. If he holds on to it, that will be like a pressure cooker. A pressure cooker bursts out if it is overloaded. Similarly the brain also.
From talking to action
After speaking with your friend, do you think everything is over? Certainly not. So, motivate and help him to do everyday tasks.
Offer a nature time
When you are in trouble, nature also seems to be so. When you start to take care of nature, nature will take care of you. An evening walk can benefit a depressed mind. Spend some time with nature.
Avoid all the thoughts you come across at that time. Focus only on enjoying the changes in nature. First, you practice, then encourage your beloved person also.
Treat depression with meditation
Meditation is the process of concentrating on one object and remaining in that thought for a long time. The practice of meditation helps in developing the concentration of the mind. Help the depressed one to attend meditation classes and practice the art of meditation.
There are free online courses for practicing meditation. So, make use of online resources to know and learn meditation and to develop a stable mind.
Sense of esteem: a remedy for suicide prevention
Another treatment that you can try is creating a sense of value in the depressed person's mind. Sometimes, overwhelmed by depression, the person can try to attempt suicide. Engage him in many activities like household chores, social work, teaching neighboring school children, and volunteering at an orphanage or old age home.
When you give joy to someone, and you witness it, the joy that you experienced at that time is different. That will sustain forever. As a result, a sense of happy feeling develops in your beloved depressed person's heart that his life is meant to do something more and share happiness with people, not to end in the middle and lose this precious life for unfulfilled self-expectations.
Wise and experienced people will always respect and accept the selfless activity of someone whom they don't know. The appreciation and favors from new, old, or youngsters make esteem in your depressed friend's existence.
Thus, you can make a sense of value in your friend's life in his heart. This helps in regaining his strength and to cure his mental illness. Gradually he may forget his depression as well as the thought to attempt suicide. And you can reduce depression in your companion through selfless service to the needy.
Good company with positive people to enhance mental health
Maintaining a good relationship with people and having a positive attitude is always good for improved mental health. This can wipe out all feelings of depression in a person. You may find positive people in your friends' group or locality.
If you don't find any positive people around your place, practice an optimistic attitude towards your companion. A good company will develop gradually with an optimistic attitude towards everything.
Family therapy sessions
Family therapy sessions are psychological counseling sessions that provide an opportunity for the family members to converse and resolve their conflicts within the family. Ensure this by yourself.
Major depressive disorder
The points mentioned above are the possibilities only to cure the depressed one from mental health concerns. There can be an unpredictable situation in which you should ask medical professionals for help from experts. There are major depressive disorders that you cannot handle efficiently
Clinical depression
Clinical or major depression is stated as the continuous sense of hopelessness and having a dejected mood for most of the day. It can be experienced for a minimum of two weeks. The National Institute of mental health reports that around 6.7% of the U.S. population over the age of 18 are affected by this depression type.
Clinical depression symptoms
The human mind is unpredictable sometimes. So, be alert to watch over the warning signs of major depression. This is seen mostly in women. Coming up next are the side effects of clinical depression:
- Exhaustion or loss of energy consistently
- Sensations of uselessness or culpability consistently
- Weakened fixation, hesitation
- A sleeping disorder or hypersomnia (exorbitant dozing) consistently
- Particularly decreased interest or delight in practical movements of every kind virtually consistently (called anhedonia, this manifestation can be shown by reports from soul mates)
- Fretfulness or feeling dialed back
- Repeating contemplations of death or self-destruction
- Huge weight reduction or gain (a difference in over 5% of body weight in a month)
- Loss of a friend or family member through death, separation, or partition
- Social disengagement or sensations of being denied
- Significant life changes - - moving, graduation, work change, retirement
- Private matters seeing someone, either with a life partner or a prevalent- physical, sexual, or psychological mistreatment
The reasons for the feeling of dejection in women include hormonal changes during adolescence, menstruation, pregnancy, unnatural birth cycle, and menopause. So, medical treatment is essential for such problems
Bipolar disorder: DBSA
Bipolar disorder or manic depression is considered to be a treatable mental health condition that has extreme mood changes. DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance) provides support and aids for the improvement of people struggling with bipolar disorder and related issues.
Bipolar disorder: symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment
Seeking help from a mental health professional
In critical conditions, ask for medical help. Don't take risks with situations that you cannot handle. If you are not confident about the unexpected situation, good to inform the depressed person's parents, family therapists, or counseling centers. Find support from the right people if necessary All the difference is someone will be there to help your friend as well.
Some important phone numbers for emergency services:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline helpline number: 1-800-273-8255
From there, all that you must try is to be with your friend and inspire him to think optimistically. You can be good support by carefully listening to his problems, giving advice, and encouraging him to develop a stable mind and stay happy forever.
If your mind is stable, any problems from any situation, any people, or any work-related stress can become meaningless. So, strengthen the mind to get rid of any mental troubles.
Remember, cure from depression is a slow process. So, ensure your presence throughout this slow process and bring happiness to his face.
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